The Potions Classroom

PSA: I aten't dead yet

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:25:49 GMT

I've been running like a mad woman, but what's new I hear you ask! Half of my staff have turned over in the past few months and I've been away from home an average of 2 weeks in four for the past few months, but such is life. It's not going to settle down before the end of the year which is a bit of a bugger.

I raced back to Tokyo last week to do a cleanup on Youngest Son's tiny flat and now have video evidence that should leave him scarred for the rest of his life. I hope! ^_^

What little free time I have, mainly late at night, has been taken up with the shiny that is Japanese anime. And Japanese pretty boys. And Japanese seiyuu. Japanese voice actors making happy, dirty, NC-17 rated audio porn with those beautiful voices. Because the Japanese know how to develop a market better than anyone. Manga? Fantastic. CD drama adaptations of manga, complete with moans and whimpers? Makes me happy. Here's a taste. This is just one track from one of my favourite cds, with Miki Shinichirou um, inspiring Kamiya Hiroshi. Ignore the description; the boys' cohort has reached that age where they're starting to grow up and we had our first wedding this month and another one in November. It makes us, the group of mums of these wonderful boys, proud and happy that they've all grown up so well. Anyway, yes, the track is in Japanese. No, you don't need to know Japanese. Listen to it anyway and you can see why I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face and why my porn vocabulary is expanding. For god's sake, use headphones or make sure you're alone. :D

And now I'm going to run away again. I have to drive 600km tomorrow and I'll be gone from home for a couple of weeks.

Much love to you all! ♥♥♥

Vote now, vote Squeaky!

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Fri, 23 May 2008 09:17:09 GMT

I'm sure everyone already knows that Squeaky's standing for the LJ Advisory Board. I voted for him.

I appreciate Squeaky's honesty and his open communication with us and I hope he can encourage that on LJ.

My home is here on IJ but I have a second LJ that I run for POT fandom in the interests of not spamming everyone continuously with orgasmic cries of "Oh my god, Tezuka, how are you so hot?" ;) It's a basic account and I'll never upgrade it, despite having to periodically go and cry on nimori's shoulder about the lack of icons.

I still care about LJ. There are comms there that aren't replicated here, friends there that didn't come across. I still want it to be good, you know?

So I've voted 1 for Squeaky, and if you have an LJ I'd encourage you to sign in and go and have a look at Squeaky's statement and then vote 1: Squeaky too.

So, I've been gone a while...

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 12:30:47 GMT

*slinks through the door*

This is probably a good time to confess that I haven't read my flist since the last week in December, so I have no idea what's been happening with you all or in Snarry fandom since I deserted for the bright and shiny crack that is Prince of Tennis. *hangs head* Seriously, you should all blame nimori. She has no shame. Real Life has been crazy as well. Briefly, I've been back to Japan twice, taking Eldest Son for his first visit and then racing back the week before last to see Youngest Son graduate from university and help him move into the inner-city now that he is a corporate drone. First time driving in Japan, and we're going straight into Tokyo city, kids! Work is as mad as usual and I'm up to my neck in funding applications. Too much work, not enough staff. Story of my life!

*stubs toe in dirt*

Forgive me? And tell me any exciting news and gossip that's been happening for you? I hope only good things have been! But tell me the news, folks, and I shall try and piece my life back together!

I think the cats are determined to come with me next time!

Fic rec: To Keep Calendars in the Absence of Time

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 03:02:29 GMT

I? Am the luckiest Toy around. I've been gifted with an absolutely fabulous fic for merry_smutmas this year.

To Keep Calendars in the Absence of Time is one of the very best Snupins I've ever read and that it was written for me makes me squee with delight.

I don't want to spoil it for you, but suffice it to say that this is a magnificent character study of Snape. It's a canon-compliant, slow-building exploration, a detailed, heart-catching examination that brings with it some of the hottest Lupin and Snape around within a perfectly realised and enthralling world.

Spoilers for DH if you're one of the two people who haven't read it yet!

Go! Go and read! If you're going to be offline over Christmas, treat yourself and print this out. It's magnificent and you will not regret it one bit.

Title: To Keep Calendars in the Absence of Time
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Summary: Severus finds that there can be many reasons to keep track of the days, even in a place where time has no meaning.

Random bits

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:09:51 GMT

Things that have caught my attention today:

Happy Birthday, Titti! I hope it's an absolutely super day for you!

I find that I am nowhere near as obsessive as some, but I can be wildly excited by the results of someone's obsession. Click here for the perfect example. This fan has made the most wonderful miniatures of Snape's office and Spinner's End

swtalmnd forced me to upload a video of seagulls circuiting for food that I saw in Japan on Christmas 2004 and now won't watch it! So you all should. :D It's only 30 seconds of your time, and they're great seagulls. Only in Japan!

nimori is the most wicked enabler on the face of the planet. I am now watching the Prince of Tennis live action movie on You Tube. Also, Ryozuka for the win (but only when Ryoma is over 18, of course!)

I miss Tim Hortons. In fact, I miss it enough that I'm going to try and make a breakfast sandwich. If it works, I shall post the Australian recipe. lauriegilbert, I shall post results of my experiments. Oh, and I'll need to take photos for comparison!

Anyone who likes Snape should immediately friend acatnamedeaster because her art is sooooo gorgeous. *licks the screen*

Cons and travels and travails

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 07:26:29 GMT

Best Christmas present to myself ever: I am booked and paid for Sectus '09.

I was slack (and continue to be slack) and didn't make my posts about the cons, mostly because LJ went berserk and I had to get back to work and poof! there went my energy. I'd still really love to do it and maybe if I can move all my LJ pics to my website over Christmas, who knows? (scarah, I've only just worked out how to upload the pics properly because I am an idiot!)

One of the reasons I want to make that post is because Sectus was the best con I've been to. The organisers of Sectus were incredible (elanor, annephoenix, kabal42, son_of_darkness and so many people whose IJ's I don't yet know, I'm looking at you all!) and they had the balance right between the fen and academic strands. They were slash friendly, ship friendly, porn friendly (or maybe that was just me ;) ) as well having some really interesting academic presentations. There were excusions to Alnwick Castle where we got to pet the owls and see the birds flown, and to Greenwich where we had a picnic lunch, got soaked in a summer rain storm and some of us rolled down the hill below the Greenwich Observatory. We jumped in puddles (okay, some of us did!) on our way back to the ferry and learned a lot of Interesting Facts, like which bridges were used in the HP films. :) The venue was super, casual and friendly (to the extent that there were announcements from the Ministry of Magic scrolling through their tv system). They had dinners, a ball, an auction, presentations, discussions and everything you could think of and it was marvellous. Of course, they also had the release of Book Seven, but that's never going to happen again.

And next time, Sectus will be in a castle. Oh my god, I love you people! Yep, we are heading into the depths of Wales for four days of heaven at Bodelwyddan Castle. Space is limited so for heaven's sake, book early! It's a fantastic price at £290, which includes registration and room and board for three nights, breakfast and evening meal for each day inclusive. Seriously, you won't see that anywhere else and you'll be absolutely kicking yourself if you leave it too long and discover the spaces are gone!

Now that I've finished squeeing, here's the rub. I'm not heading to the cons next year. I was going to go to Escapade in California next year, but it turns out I'm going to Japan in February rather than for Christmas due to Eldest Son not being organised in any way that matters. Youngest Son starts work full-time for his Company in April so will never have the blocks of time for fun and games again that uni students have, and I have forced Eldest Son to bite the bullet and go to see his brother's place in the world. As soon as I get home, I'm going in for a bit of surgery so I won't be up for travelling for a little while after that.

So, between kids and houses and cat mansions, 2008 is a year for me to save my pennies. This means I won't be going to the UK next summer, but I've arranged at work to be gone for June 2009 and they'll cope with the preparation for the end of the financial year without me. I'll fly home directly from England and be straight back into it.

But seriously, a castle? That's worth waiting a little for! Hope to see you all there!

Art: NakedBee - Commissioned art! OMG, the mail's arrived!

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:00:00 GMT

Australia Post has brought me much goodness in the mail!

Remember how I bought nakedbee's Rub-a-dub-dub, Snape in a tub at Prophecy and how delighted I've been to have it hanging on my wall? I took the opportunity to commission more art from nakedbee and it's arrived!

First of all, Snape in a corset. And stockings. Oh, and a collar. Did I mention the collar?

There's something very special about Snape in lingerie. I asked NakedBee to use my fic Hagrid's Magical Creature as a prompt for the image and she's done an incredible job! The star is, of course, the entirely Snapealicious mister_b33, who does an incredible Snape!

Secondly, there's a photoset of eight shots, Unbuttoning Snape

Yes, I fetishize Snape's buttons. Who, I ask you, doesn't? :D I love the idea of Harry unpacking Snape, of getting through all his defences and finding the man underneath. Loving him, wanting him. This set catches that perfectly for me.

nakedbee, I'd marry you and have your children if you weren't already taken by mister_b33. Okay, I'd marry mister_b33 without hesitation as well, because not only is he a fabulous Snape, he's a great sport! Yes, for those of you in the know, there is a sequel but it's not for posting! I couldn't be more delighted - every one of them gets an Outstanding!

In other news, after mailing three boxes to myself from Canada on 13 August, they have finally arrived! They've all been opened by Customs; I'm sure I'm on their "Open all mail because this person is a fruitcake and the amusement value is sure to be high" list! I had a wonderful time unpacking them all. So many wonderful memories!

Finally, a meme ganked from lauriegilbert:

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In May I didn't flush (-1 points). In July I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Sunday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, swtalmnd (-5000 points). In January I pushed jin_fenghuang in the mud (-17 points). Last Saturday I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-5093 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
snapetoy

Damn it, even the memes think I'm naughty! I'm really not!

Happy New Government!

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 13:41:53 GMT

wyattburp reminds me that n9o children were thrown overboard and no country was invaded i9n the winning of this election by the Australian Labour Party.

I have veyr little faith in politicians but I hope that we can now remember that we're not just an economy, we're a society.

Pleasepleaseplease

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 08:43:56 GMT

Please god. Any god.

For the first time since 1929 (I think!) a sitting Australian Prime Minister could lose his seat.

C'mon, Maxine!

Kevin '07

Very fast update

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 13:19:17 GMT

Real Life: flat out. Audit preparation (audit is tomorrow, thank god), employing new staff (980km round trip plus interviews in one day - not fun), still trying to arrange builders, plasterers and painters (fucking show up when you say you're going to show up&*(^($#%), retraining the cats (they turned into complete savage while I was gone, the little horrors), garden is starting to look like there are real plants in there and so many daffodils, waiting for any and all mail from Canada (gets out slingshot for the Australia Post albatross)

Fandom: Did the sshp_prophet edition tonight - skip 420 omg. Did not read anything, just collected links. I hope you're all well and happy!

That's it!

Time for a rant

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 00:34:03 GMT

I'm not the most rational creature at times and I'm happy to be the first to admit it. I let my emotional response taint my attitude towards things, sometimes in not very grown-up ways.

This is one of those times.

I am growing increasingly bitter towards Live Journal and Six Apart because of the sheer amount of time I'm having to put into infrastructure. I've finally transferred all my icons across this morning. Took me three hours. We moved the sshp_prophet over yesterday; took eight hours in total for the three of us to relocate to comm, delete duplicate posts, change all the userinfo, set up an RSS feed, post to Stag and Doe, check everything and then delete the LJ content. I've learned how to use Semagic, LJ Sec and LJ Migrate; took a lot of hours and help from loving friends (yes, adbaculum, I'm looking at you in adoration!). I've put countless hours into reading so many posts on LJ Biz and my flists about what the latest happenings are, talking and fretting and deciding what to do, setting up journals and moving house. So far this week I've probably put six hours into saving images from LJ's Galleries, and I've only done 200 out of 600, and they all have to be uploaded and retagged before I even start thinking about putting up the posts from Sectus, Prophecy, the US, Canada and Japan.

These are hours I'm not re-reading Book 7, thinking about canon, working out plots, talking gleefully with friends or writing porn. Last night's tinyfic for Bring Back the Porn is the first real bit I've written since Book Seven came out. My mind is swirling with ideas and I have to keep shoving them aside to deal with this shit.

Six Apart? Can suck my cock. Which would be fine if I had one. But I'm very bloody cranky with them, and digging my heels in further.

I am never going back to them.

Ficlet: The Benefits of Quidditch

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 12:10:27 GMT

Author: Snapetoy
Title: The Benefits of Quidditch
Rating: NC17
Summary: It doesn't matter whether you win or lose...
A/N: Written for the_minx_17's Bring Back the Porn challenge on Insane Journal
Word Count: 441 (Ficlet)

Snape was on him as he came through the Floo, fingers pulling at his heavy robes, long body pressing him against the wall next to the fireplace. Harry grinned and let his head fall back against the cool grey stone as Snape licked the taste of sweat from his throat.

He groaned, a sound from deep within his belly, as Snape bit at the juncture of throat and body, sucking a dark purple bruise onto his skin. "God, Severus, that's--"

"Yes," Snape said, pushing his Quidditch over-robe down his arms and letting it fall, pulling at his sweater and shirt, the fingers of one hand splaying on the hot, sweaty skin beneath while the other worked at the zip on his trousers. Harry's own fingers were busy, buried deep in Snape's greasy hair, molding along the line of his jaw, pulling his face up for a kiss. This was one of the best things about Snape, he thought, revelling in the man's hunger, that he got off on Harry's sweaty body after a game of Quidditch.

"It almost makes up for losing," he said, gasping as Snape's long fingers closed around his cock.

"Get your sweater off," Snape responded, and Harry tried to oblige, trapped as he was between Snape and the wall.

Between Snape's one hand and Harry's two, they managed to get the sweater off and the shirt open and his trousers down to his knees before they were caught on his shin guards and stopped. Snape's fingers worked him until Harry was panting, eyes unfocussed while Snape licked into the rough hair at his armpit, across his chest to bite at a nipple and down his belly before sucking his cock to the root.

Dirty, wet noises, the rustle of clothing and Snape's mouth on him, of Harry's panted moans, of "Fuck, yeah," and "Oh god, just like that," as Snape's teeth scraped like velvet around his length, filled the dungeon air and Harry came helplessly, hips thrusting desperately, seeking after that feeling that swirled and tightened through his belly before burning out of his cock and down Snape's throat.

Harry let his fingers unclench a little from their knuckle-tight hold in Snape's hair, wincing at the scrape of the stone against his arse. He blinked the sweat from his eyes, trying to focus on Snape's face.

Snape had a smear of Harry's come at the corner of his mouth and his fingers pressing at Harry's hole. His eyes were hot, dark, devouring and Harry shivered. "Bed?" he asked.

"Bed," Snape answered and Harry grinned down at him. The Cannons might have lost, but Harry? Was a winner.

Warning: Danger Will Robinson! Unfriend the SSHP_Prophet

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 04:39:33 GMT

Eeeeek! I have successfully learned how to use the LJMigrate program to move the Prophet entries over the IJ.

Unfortunately, the backdate command does NOT work for communities and I am spamming the hell out of the 186 people on IJ who're watching the sshp_prophet. Sorry!!!!

Please either unfriend or filter it off your IJ Flist for the next couple of days. Our next edition will be out Sunday morning US EST time.

My apologies again!

Home again

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 22:12:50 GMT

I'm back in the land of winter, and fuck, isn't it cold after being in sunshine for six weeks? But the blossom trees are swelling and spring is about to break on us and it's going to be beautiful!

I was blessed by the god of frequent flyers on the plane from Tokyo and had an entire row to myself which I promptly claimed by spreading my shit out to stop anyone else from grabbing them. Seven hours sleep on a plane! How magnificent is that?

My glorious Eldest Son was there to greet me and bring me home and it was fabulous to have those many hours with him before reaching the disaster zone that is my house. The drive was beautiful; spring has arrived on the coast already and it's so very green after the recent rains. Coming back up into the mountains where there's no green yet as we're still having hard frosts was a bit of a shock to the system!

Things to do over the next three days:

hang Snape in a tub in pride of place

call builders and painters to get quotes for walls and ceilings

get the rest of the pipes lagged

call an electrician to get all the wiring checked

take the car in for a wheel alignment and balance

call carpet cleaners back to get the lounge cleaned

move back furniture that can be moved

check the computer cabling because I may have lost the sound system, two usb hubs and the dial-up modem in the flood from the pipes

take the car to a sound system place to get an iSnape cable fitted

vacuum the clouds of cat hair and wash everything in sight

wash and rehang the curtains that the cats pulled down (wtf? were they swinging on them?)

finish the posts for Sectus, US, Prophecy, Canada and Japan

go through the mountain of mail and throw it all away

start weeding the garden and mow the lawn

start unpacking the boxes that have started to arrive

I shall have a busy time of it! I did drop in at work to pick up boxes and they tell me that everything has run like a dream while I've been gone and I therefore should go on leave more often. Yay!

I won't be on a lot over the next few days, but I will try and get into chat to pass on love and hugs. It's been an amazing six weeks and it was so, so good to meet so many of you, to spend time with friends that I love. It's also good to be home. ♥

Cutting the LJ friends list

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 21:49:20 GMT

I'm culling my flist of those I know are cross-posting from LJ to IJ to remove the amount of double-reading I need to do, and I'm preferring Insane Journals over Live Journals, of course. If I have you friended in both places and you're posting generally the same content, I'll be cutting you from my LJ reading list.

Is it just me or does it feel strange to all of those of you who're doing the same thing I am? I feel a bit like I'm casting people adrift, in spite of knowing that I'm hanging on to you! *headdesks*

Subject: Important notice re After Class

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 04:07:35 GMT

After Class, the Snape/Harry Yahoo mailing list, has been deleted.

A new group has been made by Magic_Helmut (Happy Birthday, Rai!), Nimori and Snapetoy. The new group is located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stag_and_doe/ and has the same rules and mods as After Class. Due to a drive failure, we do not have a copy of the files from After Class.

We have therefore started a new database for Stag and Doe, in addition to the Fic Search database, and we ask members to add their favourite fics to help us rebuild the links.

We will continue to cross-post the editions of the SS/HP Prophet to Stag and Doe.

Please do not make any comments to this post regarding the name of the new group.

If you were a member of After Class, please join Stag and Doe.

Deathly Hallows and the state of the ship

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 23:15:45 GMT

I've been fortunate to be at Sectus over the past few days and have read Deathly Hallows in the company of other fen. That's been a magic experience and one that's allowed us to rationalise the content of the book so much faster.

The great majority of us had read the book that first night, reading the night through, often in company and I think because we were able to share our experience immediately, intimately, in person, that helps us. In addition, I was part of three panels on the Saturday where the groups were able to talk out our first thoughts, so this post is informed by that.

treewishes told dementordelta that there were people on LJ who seemed the be having a much harder time of it than we were, and I was also asked by a number of people to put together a similar analysis and evidence submission to the one I prepared for Half- Blood Prince.

Before I get started, forgive me that I've not had the opportunity to look at any of the meta out there about the book, so I'm probably replicating what already exists.

JKR loves us, and she has given us a fabulous gift in Deathly Hallows. How many of us believed in our hearts that she was going to kill Snape? Hoped and prayed otherwise, sacrificed the occasional goat, but really believed that she was
going to do it? I know I did. Wouldn't say it aloud ("Don't say it, and we might get a miracle!"). Well, we actually got our miracle.

JKR could have had Shape hit the ground with an Avada Kedavra, given him a grand funeral and buried him deep. I think I only have so many Inferi!Snape stories in me. She could have written Snape's death in such a way that it would have been impossible for us to write anything other than AU fic if we wanted Snape to live. And the very best thing of all is that she's left the sandpit.

The Harry Potter world is ours now, and she will never write it in again. She will never confirm Snape's death, never add details and facts that we will have to struggle to overcome. We have this on page 527 (all page numbers referenced come from the UK edition):

And Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand. It did nothing to Snape, who for a split second seemed to think he had been reprieved: buth then Voldemort's intention became clear. The snake's cage was rolling through the air, and before Snape could do anything mere than yell, it had encased, him, Head and shoulders and Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue.'Kill.'There was a terrible scream. Harry saw Snape's face losing the little colour it had left, it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake's fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way, and he fell to the floor.

So, there we have it: Snape bitten by Nagini and dead. When one looks at the text, however, JKR has left us more holes than you can poke a stick at. There are a number of points, some that deal with the absence of supporting text, some that are derived from the earlier books.

I've been writing the following in people's books at Sectus:
• No body
• No portrait
• No funeral
• No death

Here's why I think that's the case:

The scene of Snape's death is told from Harry's point of view. He's a proven unreliable narrator - what he believes and what are facts within the wizarding world have often been very different things.
In OotP, Nagini bit Arthur Weasley three times and he survived. From Chapter Twenty One, The Eye of the Snake:

But the man was stirring . . . a silver Cloak fell from his legs as he jumped to his feet; and Harry saw his vibrant, blurred outline towering above him, saw a wand withdrawn from a belt . . . he had no choice . . . he reared high from the floor and struck once, twice, three times, plunging his fangs deeply into the man's flesh, feeling his ribs splinter beneath his jaws, feeling the warm gush of blood . . .

Snape is a Potions master. I'm rolling my eyes here. Harry wouldn't know a good potion if it bit him on the arse unless it was in the Half Blood Prince's book. Harry wouldn't know and couldn't identify any possible Potions interventions that Snape had prepared for this eventuality or been aware of any planned use of a Bezoar.
Snape had to have prepared for the possibility that Voldemort would try and kill him at any time. In particular, it was essential to him that he provide his memories to Harry, and he therefore needed some mechanism that would allow him to react as expected by Voldemort, ie die, while letting him reach Harry beyond the event, ie, live through it. He had to tell Harry that he was a horcrux, and he had to do it as a memory sequence; Harry would not believe him any other way. It's absolutely essential that that occurs, yet he cannot predict when or if Voldemort would try to kill him. He therefore must have prepared for the event.
Snape's performing magic, magic that we've never seen before, extracting memories expediently, wandless, wordless magic. Not something for the inexperienced or unskilled, I would imagine.
Snape's portrait is not mentioned as appearing in the Headmaster's office. We know from Half Blood Prince that a Headmaster's portrait appears in the office very soon after their death. We know also from Voldemort giving Harry one hour to surrender that some time has passed, through that hour and Harry's discorporeal event, his defeat of Voldemort, and his return to the office on page 598 where he's given a standing ovation from the Heads. Heads who are irrelevant are mentioned, including Fineas, Dilys Derwent and Dexter Fortescue. If Snape had been there, Harry would have seen, he could not have helped reacting because of the extent of the sacrifice that Snape made. Harry knew already that Snape had given everything to protect him. JKR mentions again in the same scene on page 599 that the Heads look confused and curious when Dumbledore says, "My dear boy, I do." Had Snape been there, he would have understood, and the absence is striking.
Harry's death on page 564 describes the same thing process as Snape goes through, happily because Jo writes about the experience without naming it as death. Isn't she good to us? 'Everything is gone.'

One issue that really needs to be addressed is that of Snape/Lily.

I know a lot of people will be hating it. I don't; that portrait of obsessive, possessive love is one I find sits very well with Snape. It has great power and intensity that is both compulsive and sacrificial. Snape tells Dumbledore, during The Prince's Tale, on page 551:

'I have spied for you, and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter-''But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?""For him?' shouted Snape. 'Expecto patronum!'From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: she landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. 'After all this time?''Always,' said Snape.

Three things about this:

These memories are selective - Snape does not give Harry the totality of his memories. These have been chosen to have the most effect on Harry to bring him to the recognition that he's a horcrux.
Snape does not deny that he has grown to care for Harry. He allows Dumbledore to reach his own conclusions. Let me just say, as Delta has been writing in people's books at Sectus, Doe + Stag = OTP. Bottom!Snape for the win.
'I've lied for you.' Snape dies with his cover to Voldemort intact. He's a bloody brilliant spy. What's the betting that he could have lied to Dumbledore?

Make of these points what you will. I intend to make a very dirty Snarry Severitus of them, and having met Severitus at Sectus, and liked her very, very much, that makes me very happy indeed.

Now to the epilogue. Gah. I think for readers who aren't fen, who don't have the investment in the world that we do, and who aren't slashers, the epilogue is probably a wonderful thing, showing Harry and Ginny and their lovely children, and Harry both rewarded with his Princess (after all, every Hero needs one) and the family he needs and desires.

Let's get technical. Analyse the words. I invite you to reread the epilogue and look for any place that says, 'Ginny, Albus Severus's mother' or 'Harry's wife, Ginny.' They don't exist.

Loopholes, baby. This is crammed with them.

So, the state of the ship.

We've all been on a huge emotional roller-coaster for the past few days. Use the energy. aliciamasters, the Headmistress at Walking the Plank, has opened a new community called wtp_challenges. Join the community. Write it out. Make the canon work for you.

As I've said, JKR's given our ship a great gift, because we can do that. The ship sails. She's still the flagship.

Harry and Severus have walked through the valley of death to reach this point, and they are the only people who can understand each other, understand the costs and prices paid, understand the dedication, commitment, resolution that is required. Throughout this journey, they've been made for each other.

Let's give them that.

Ficlet: Scab (R - Snape/Harry unrequited)

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 19:09:47 GMT

Author: Snapetoy
Title: Scab
Pairing: SS/HP but only in Snape's dirty little fantasies
Summary: Sometimes life is a circle and the act of living a pattern of unbreakable habits.
Note: Unbetaed tinyfic for regan_v, after I was bitten by her desire for unrequited love. Angst all the way!

---

It was like a scab, really, and Snape would pick and pick at it, scratching at the edge of the partly-healed wound until it was red-raw and bleeding again.

Every single time he swore he was going to walk away, force the past into the past, grow up and get over it.

It always happened like this:

Tired, frustrated, waiting for sleep that wouldn't come, he would take his prick in his hand and stroke it, light touches while his mind saw glimpses of pale throat framed by dark robes, of green eyes flashing sideways glances down the staff table. Of what was hidden under the layers of fabric, white skin begging to be licked, bitten, violated.

He'd thrust into his damp hand, imagining the tightness of Potter's arse, of how Potter's hips would feel under his fingers, of the hoarse cries they'd make of "more," of "now," of "Severus."

Then he'd come and lie there, sweaty, satisfied but frustrated, and hate himself for his own weakness, for this pointless, pathetic stupid inability to move on with his life.

Potter, after all, was moving on with his. At forty, Potter had a wife, children, a job he enjoyed.

Fifteen fucking years of going around in circles, of hanging on to his obsessive bitter, twisted hunger.

He'd get up in the morning and go to breakfast, determined that today would be different, and he'd ignore Potter's greeting in the staff room, make his coffee and go back to his dungeons, thinking of research and reading and the brats under his care.

At lunch, he wouldn't listen to the sounds of Potter's cheery talk, refused to allow that laugh to get under his skin.

He'd miss dinner, making elaborate research plans or splaying red swathes of colour across the parchment of what his students thought passed for acceptable standards of work.

And over the coming days, he'd forget his good intentions, would catch a glimpse of all that passion when Potter fired up in a staff meeting, and want again what could never, ever, be his. He'd be helpless in the face of it and start a conversation, greedily snatching small pieces of Potter--the way his eyes brightened and cheeks flushed, how his fingers stretched when he talked, curled in on his hands, or stroked his jaw--and tucking them away into the hidden treasure chest of memories. He'd return Potter's greetings at recess, comment on the coffee, on Filius' strange new obsession with Muggle technology, on recent happenings at the Ministry, propose shared classes that would never be delivered.

Because by then his blood would be stirring, hunger growing and soon, soon he'd be lying in his bed with his hand on his cock, picking at the open wound of his desire.

Fool.

Grow up.

Let go.

But it was all he had, and all he could ever see himself having, and he clung to it, in spite of himself and Minerva's sad and knowing eyes. Potter had been at the centre of everything and sometimes Snape despaired that he always would be.

At other times, it was enough.

"Severus," Minerva would say, "I really think that perhaps a sabbatical would be useful. Perhaps an exchange with Beaubaxtons to refresh your teaching methods?"

And he'd look at her and refuse and cling to the pathetic shadow of his love and be content to stand in the darkness outside the shining circle of Potter's affections.

When Potter's arguments with the Weasley bint made the papers and he left her and moved into Hogwarts, Snape could not tamp down the tendril of hope that pushed him into late night marking in the staff room, an invitation to his rooms to share a drink over a discussion about the destruction of the Veil and the theory of portkeys Potter had proposed more than fourteen months before. The seating arrangements at dinner changed and Snape would spend the meal deep in discussion with Potter, slyly prying details of Potter's hopes and dreams and thoughts from his conversation, clutching after fragments of information that would bring Potter closer to him.

He congratulated himself on not betraying himself when Potter went home to his wife and family and the Daily Prophet announced news of a new baby, and let himself fade back into the background, his conversation again becoming monosyllabic, the acerbic mask sliding back onto his person as if it had never been gone.

And he'd wank in his bed, wank to thoughts and visions of what could never be. He knew it. He hated himself. He hated Potter.

And he loved him, too.

Birthday Greetings!

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 22:22:45 GMT

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics</a>

Have a lovely day, and may it be the best year ever for you both. *hugs*

LJ, GJ, IJ, JF and the beauty of Firefox

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 21:38:44 GMT

I seem to have set up shop everywhere!

Greatest Journal
Lots of us are already set up there due to previous LJ blackouts, including the fandom newsletters. There's a couple of cool features that we don't have on LJ; you can see who's on the site when you are, there's a hit counter built into the posting system, you can stop people from friending you. On the other hand, there's not much choice of styles and your icons disappear if your journal is inactive for a while. And it won't let me update the icons atm, either! It's a relatively recent build of LJ, so there's tags, but you can't do that thing that LJ does where you can get the comments on someone else's post. That's something I find really useful for fics posted in fests, where the mod can post my fic, but I can track the post and get the comments. ♥ I'm shallow, but you all knew that!

Insane Journal
This seems like a happy place. The owner is actively welcoming new users from LJ, and seems to be using one of the latest LJ builds, so there's tags, tracking, search to find your friends. Also, permanent accounts are only US$30.00, and the ads disappear. However, it's also a downside that permanent accounts are only $30.00 - no ongoing revenue stream to buy servers, bandwidth and tech stuff to keep it running smoothly. I've asked Squeaky about this and will let you know his answer. ETA: Squeaky is happy with the price and says he's happy with the account setup, so I've bought myself a permanent account. :)

Journal Fen
For fen, by fen. That should be enough in and of itself to take us there, but there's a few things working against it. You can't create a free account, and you can't search the users database to find your friends. The LJ build they're using seems old, so there aren't those nifty features that we like about being here on LJ. And the biggy: you have to be 18 and over to use the site. I know that's an issue for a lot of people. The servers that host JF also host Slashcity, and a lot of us have webspace there. For all the comments you see about the robustness of the servers, I've only had my website go down a couple of times, and it's always been up again very quickly, and Robin is great with tech support.

I'm starting to believe also that I can follow multiple flists. The reason for this? Tabbed browsing. Thank you, Firefox! I normally have about 25 tabs open at any given time, so I've set mine up now to open the first few tabs for flists on LJ, GJ, IJ and JF automatically. Ultimately, I think, that need will disappear as we settle down to wherever we end up, because I'm a sheep. I'm going where the rest of you go and, after all, it's my flist that matters, isn't it? ;) I'm sure that's the case for each of us! I don't have any loyalty to LJ, so a lot of what's holding me here is inertia and the power of memory. My online history is here in all the rambling posts and comments. I've worked out a system to duplicate those posts I want to save, and will post them to wherever we end up.

So, if you're starting journals on other services, let me know, or friend me and I'll friend you back. Don't we live in interesting times?

First Post

snapetoy@insanejournal.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 11:44:11 GMT

I really like the atmosphere here, and the very warm welcome we seem to be getting from the site owner, squeaky. That's very encouraging. Encouraging enough for me to have worked out a layout and uploaded a stack of icons, anyway! After all the drama and intensity that's been on LJ for the past week, it's a pleasant change to discover some fun.

squeaky's TOS seem very sensible, and it's clear that there's a welcome for fandom, so perhaps this is a viable alternative for us. I know that a lot of people have concerns about JF as a site due to the age restriction, but this might work well for us. Here's hoping we can find a happy place and settle down.